| SPACE BOOK |
[28 Nov 2009|09:45am] |
Last week New Oxford English Dictionary declared "unfriend" to be 2009's Word of the Year.
unfriend – (verb) To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as Facebook.
While I'm reluctant to volunteer that the term joined my vocabulary back when I joined livejournal, it's evident the British jeeringly intended to capture Americans current preoccupations by mocking our etymological challenges. Some other terms considered were intexticated, tea party supporting teabaggers, and sexting. Poking fun at us for testing the rudiments of their own dialect, and representing it with E-RELEVANT slang reflects the idiocy scoffed. The joke is on all that cringe at fleeting jargon in fear of grammatical botchery because language, former and future, perpetually evolves.
I'm uncertain when the word will be published as the Third Edition's estimated completion isn't for another 28 YEARS FROM NOW, but spellcheck on facebook already recognizes its legitimacy.
I was trying to get rid of some of the groups I'm in on fb and investigated "6 degrees of separation" which I don't recall joining. It claims to experiment upon the famous theory that everyone is separated by 6 degrees and all you have to do is invite your friends! Simply getting users to follow their friends into a useless community only proves an epic fail. They do have over five million members, but according to my research facebook currently has over 300 million active accounts. When we're all dead we'll go on wasting cyber space.
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| one and other |
[19 Nov 2009|05:16am] |
I really love being a good friend. I like the idea of it, that maybe whatever I'm saying to this person or just listening to them is going to impact such a greater difference than vacant disregard. I was going to say even when I'm having a hard time with my own issues, but it's especially then that I love it. Because it's a greater cause. Maybe I'm self-righteous, but it a reminds me that while the self-involved avoid burdens of the distressed, I am choosing to be extraordinary in this very simple way. I love it best when I'm required to omit my dilemmas to generate the support I hope for myself. However romantic it sounds it's possible that in most ways it's advantageous. Among multiple benefits, asserting the strength bolsters self-empowerment. Not to mention all that greater good jazz.
It's also possible that giving too much of yourself without getting something back drains you unjustly. Regardless, I'll gladly be a contender attempting to compensate the outstanding differences. Less would just contribute to all the things I can't understand (and basically hate) about humanity. So I intend to hitch my horse to a faithful wagon; subsequently it will be with merit that I hang my hat on appropriate decorum. I'm Lincoln god-damn Rogers.
I know this self-guided fellow who somehow (which i still cannot figure out how) manages to emerge often enough in "not-culture" to lock into total anguish of his own design. Don't misunderstand me, he's always right. The majority of this world, moreover humanity, is depressing. I have never once disagreed with him or at least gotten where he's coming from, but i know he finds joy in more than just kitties and deceased researchers. I just remember this dude i knew who always had a dark side but smiled an awful lot, even though he was always embarrassed every time he did. He said silly things and mused in the ridiculous. I know he has more faith in this shit hole than he lets on. I wish I had that confidence in everything caustic.
(i just have this song stuck in my head)
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| just let me know if you wanna go somewhere |
[15 Nov 2009|06:34am] |
Can I see you later? 'Cuz. I can see you busy right now. A friend of mine posted this video last week. I think this is adorable, as well as embarrassing. Another thing that's embarrassing, complaining to your friend about abusers of social networking sites and realizing they have a family and a mortgage and they definitely couldn't care less. But if you like really bad videos to even worse songs maybe you'd like this one as well http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mWW6kRITEY and if you like stories about being embarrassed here's one more. A friend was djing at Metropolitan a few months ago and I said, "Oh, you know this guy? Shinehead? I just found the video the other day." DJ Friend responded in confused pity, "This is Sting." Yeah. I knew that.
(Who knows Jamaican in NY but not Englishman in NY? - The answer is me.)
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| we have to back to the island |
[15 Nov 2009|05:01am] |
come clean
find light
make time
shine bright
just get it over with
visiting hours are over
lovers or liars
worth waiting for
now's not the time
broken pacts
remember to breath
don't fall
you have to come back
something
someday
fully engaged
inside out
take a deep breath
don't give up
that would mean feeling something
nothing truly great happens unless you take risks
it's what we do
customarily
meet you at the door
boy gets the girl
see you monday
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| They say he was proud to die as a shahid, a martyr, a soldier of his love. |
[20 Oct 2009|07:22am] |
Maha: We believe that death come when God had planned it, before he created the humanity. It's planned, this time, so I just accept it.
Zaynab: And-
Maha: It hurt-
Zaynab: -And we believe that you're dieing by the hand of your enemy because you believe in-
Maha: Defending your-right-
Zaynab: - Because you doing it in the way of God, Allah, that it's the best way to die. And my father always wished that he would be killed. That he wouldn't just die in his bed, that he'd be killed for the sake of Allah. And when we were very young he used to say if you guys love me, make (in aud.) me - pray for me that I would be jihaded. Which is just being killed.
Narrator: Become a martyr.
Zaynab: Yes.
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[20 Oct 2009|06:19am] |
It helps to vent when you have problems, not always to acquire sympathy. Sometimes you can sort it out by borrowing an ear and hearing it out loud. But in those times when your troubles are completely out of your control and your world stops it can be relieving to listen to another person's issues. Ironically it's just about the only thing that can distract you from your own heinous shit.
Some day everything I ever looked forward to in life will have become a bunch of yesterdays. And spared just a few short tomorrow's.
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| Hatefull States of America |
[06 Sep 2009|04:48am] |
In what fucking way are we united? Honestly? We can't even admit that we rely on one another to survive. We cannot even display the slightest weakness to a stranger. Apparently kindness is just that, a weakness. It's the only explanation why abuse could ever be thought of as a strength, I'm assuming. You spilled your drink in my shoe and into my purse (where a variety of expensive electronic devices reside for the time being) and when you're told you've spilled your drink into my shoes and into my purse your response is, "Good." And he meant that shit, like good, I'm glad I've done so.
What the fuck kind of world are we living in?
And I head out to dance and I'm only discriminated against and objectified.
I guess when it's my friends making me feel like I'm not accepted I get the idea that I'm just not good enough, but when I see the entire world acting like ignorant morons all at once I finally realize the science. I'm better than anyone that refuses to accept we need to be good to one another. And it's twice applicable to my assumed friends because I do NOTHING BUT look out for them. I cannot wrap my mind around the idea that anyone should ever be so hurtful as most people are. I just don't get why I have to be the only one who's heart can't fucking take it.
I cannot accept this reality with which I have been presented. Not without a crippling and universal sized amount of hurting.
What the fuck makes people this way, because I guarantee it can't be to much worse than anything I've turned my back on to stay true to us all.
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| Let's go get a drink and smoke a cigarette. |
[04 Sep 2009|06:48am] |
I want to start by thanking you both for being here. Thank you.
You're the two most important people in the world to me.
I've never said that before but it's true and I want you both to know it.
I love you Peter.
I love you Jack.
How did it get to this? Why haven't we spoken in a year?
Let's make an agreement
A.) I want us to become brothers again like we used to be, and for us to find ourselves and bond with each other, can we agree to that?
B.) I want us to make this trip a spiritual journey where each of us seek the unknown and we learn about it, can we agree to that?
C.) I want us to be completely open and say yes to everything, even if it's shocking and painful, can we agree to that?
Evidently he did raise them. Kind of.
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[22 Aug 2009|07:22am] |
I don't know about vibes, chi, aura or energies, but I do know that the condition of my room as of late has affected me. Even after knowing the difference, affect and effect seems convoluted, certain vocabulary still irks me.
I saw these birds flying around in all these circles this morning making the craziest formations, but so synchronized, there were hundreds of them all grouped together, working together, for whatever damn reason. They were all on the same page and very aware, and admitting, of their reliance on one another. It makes me feel like man is so much less evolved because we're just as reliant on one another, but so reluctant to admit it. Even less likely to actually cooperate with each other long enough to create something by so many that is so beautiful.
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| immature |
[20 Aug 2009|06:18am] |
In the past I got lost in the maze of platonic vs romantic relationships out of sheer inexperience.
It sucks (and hurts) to grow up.
But everybody does.
Knowing it never works hurts more than previous rejections. Entertaining the notion there is a maybe means you still have hope.
My hope had a stroke.
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| GET OUT OF HAIR |
[16 Aug 2009|05:55pm] |
I am totally wiped out today and keep napping, it honestly feels great and I don't feel guilty at all except I missed the free Dinosaur Jr show in central park. That's a bummer but I really am exhausted.
From the planet Weird, this creepy two foot long bleach blond curly hair magically appeared in my bathroom today. I don't know anyone who is blond and I have the longest hair of anyone I know right now. This hair was twice as long as mine. It sounds like I think something scandalous is going on, but that's not it.
It's GROSS. Ew, get the eff out of my bathroom strangers with mop top droppings! How do these things ever happen? Are there beach bunnies lurking in secret realms of my lavatory? I have the heebie jeebies in my own home.
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| Please stop blogging about suicides |
[13 Aug 2009|09:27am] |
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I have this melting feeling in the inner chest region when my cat walks up next to my desk and looks up and says, "Meow." They are good cats.
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| Faux Life. |
[04 Aug 2009|05:52am] |
Made my money right. At least for now. I have great friends also, and I'm eternally greatful for that as well as the tremendous corners everyone seems to be turning, but it's not all good news. My brothers baby, Michael Lawrence, may need to have a kidney removed. This breaks my heart. I wish there were anything I could do to make certain this never could ever happen. I'd even forfeit ever being able to have my own child for this to not have to happen. On a personal note, for those of you who didn't get the memo, the rule is now to not call after a girl DOESN'T sleep with you. Or maybe I'm just striking out this bad. I'm not sure how to look at it, but I certainly have determined that dating in this city is a challenge. I don't even know if I want that anyway, so it's not that heartbreaking. I would probably run away from anything substantial still, but it seems like if someone amazing is showing interest I might reconsider. Still, I don't know until it happens and it's not happening now.
A bartender hit on me in the really awesome indirect way last night. For instance, my friends pointed out that he took my drink order and then took 60 seconds to pick the right song before he served it to me. I didn't notice, but then according to them he had one eye on me the whole night. They said every time I laughed he smiled. That is really sweet. He said that my last drink was on him and he was trying to be slick but forgot I already asked to close out. So adorable. The couple I was with made it even harder for me not to blush woo-hooing nudging and winking. Cool, guys, real cool. Life is alright for me right now, I wish it were like this all the time. Moderate and exciting.
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| I miss singing in my car. |
[27 Jul 2009|11:28pm] |
Lately I've been wishing I still had my old car.
Just like mine, except without the downtown dings.
I loved that heap, it was such a reliable shitbox!
Man.
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| I just realized that being a Lost nerd.... |
[21 Jul 2009|11:05pm] |
....is simply not cool at all.
Apparently it doesn't even remotely slow me down knowing that nobody I know is interested. Reading back on some of my zany theories of the past is amusing, but it's creepy how often I was right about stuff.
I have not been able to quit singing the entire day. Everytime I turn up my stereo my neighbor starts following me to whatever room is next to where I am and throwing things around. Weird, right? I turn it down and hear nothing for hours. Rinse. Repeat.
Singing totally elates me. Suck it, wackos next door.
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| For your information |
[15 Jul 2009|07:15pm] |
No really. For my own records actually:
January - No Country For Old Men
February - Lord of the Rings
March - Sirens of Titan *
April - The Alchemist *
May - Motherless Brooklyn
June - World War Z
July - Infinite Jest
Did I seriously type Lord of the Rings??
Lord of the Flies! What the-
I guess they are both about our inner fight of good vs. evil, and I did savagely read The Hobbit in 12 hours straight.
Maybe I shouldn't knock Tolkien like that until I've earned the right.
But no way any are more wizard than Lord of the Flies is.
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